Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Absolute Me (in credit terms)

I just read this blogger discussing about credit card. The blogger's wife commented that when she used to buy things, she didnt buy them with money but emotions. Each time before you swipe the card, you're probably thinking that "It's ok that i can't pay today, I can find a way to pay for it later."

BUT

The Present You doesn’t really know the Future You.

"I’ve thought often about how the Future Me always seems to be vastly different than the Present Me — and different than I would have predicted. Yet I used to make dumb decisions in the present as if my future self would somehow develop the superpowers to save me. Instead, Future Me simply ended up cursing my past choices."

I realized that i'm behaving this way everytime before i go on a holiday - drawing the money out from my savings and spending the commission that i have not yet received. Thinking that in the future i will have more extra cash to pay for this. And omg, all these positive thinking happens in a flash and fun-filled excitement when paying for the airticket/hotel online. Although I do have extra cash to spend now than a 1 year back, but the amount is not as much as i had pictured then. So friends, let's try not use ur emotions to make my emotions buy things.

Assess my own accounts, the only part of the Financial Freedom i have achieved now is that i have no debt or liability which i am cautious not to incur any (by not having a car). The more critical part is that i have no Assets and assets takes capital to build which i am at least 2 - 4 years financially lagged behind most of my peers and probably will not have a dual income supplement in the future.

CONCLUSION:

When the Present You is picturing a future you, please try to picture me as an actual Past You (2-4 years ago) cause that's the Present Me. And those already married, please kindly divide by 2 to get the Absolute Me. Thanks~!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

What are my skills?

Just the other day, I was reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad while pooing in the loo. It was talking about specializing skills in a profession. Like professors, the most common way that they can get a higher salary is by studying more and more about less and less. And its these sort of specialization that makes them more and more vulnerable in the economy. So much that they will be entirely dependent on unions to help them out when shit happens. The chapter straight away made me think of a previous conversation i had with my frens. They were saying that they can teach Chemical Engineering and Hospitality. And i am the Jack of all trades, master of none. To which I said, I would like to set-up and run campus activities.

It just hit me that when i said that, I was in fact choosing my own interest and not a job without knowing it. Though not so much as to be THE passion, but yah, I guess its because i don't have and am not confined to a specialty. And most of all, I like going for road trips, camps and adventure.

What are my skills? I know how to register a business, what are the legal requirements, accounting using MYOB, CPF contribution. Compared to my frens, i think im pretty good with numbers which is always handy in formulating my own excel sheets for splitting up party costs to tabulating mortgage loan interests.

The skills that i need:
- Sales
- Network
- Rapport
- u n L a z i n e s s

Monday, November 8, 2010

Fuck the French

We were all happily drinking at Toca last week and then these 3 french girls came in and decided to just join us. As the alcohol poured and the conversations roll, one of the french lady started the topic (like Hitler clearing his throat)
"So what do you all think of the french people?"
"... I'm not judging, don't get me wrong.. but why don't Singaporeans speak Malay?"

So all of us looked at her with amusement and i was giving the (O_O)"> look. So i said to her, "Cause we are chinese."
"But why don't you learn to speak Malay?"
"Because we are chinese, our ancestors came from chinese and so we learn chinese."
"Yes i know you are chinese, but why don't learn how to speak Malay? Is such a beautiful language."
"... Cause we already know English and Chinese?!"
"..."
"..."
"I notice that most of the Singaporeans here don't like Malays. And Singaporeans don't seem to like to travel out."
"That's totally not true. You need to know more Singaporeans to say that."

If the French go Australia, will she ask the Aussies if they speak Aboriginal? And then go on to push to ask why don't they eat grubs? It's full of protein!

Language is fluid, it changes as time passes, new words or new ways of saying things are formed everyday. Like in the past, Singaporeans would have told the French girl to "Balek Kampong/Qu Si Ba! Si San Ba!/Go back to France!" But in this current era, we would have gladly said, "You fucking cunt!"

Anyway, the point that im trying to make it that she being a French probably see us Singaporeans speaking English as a form of Westernisation like we're white-washed. But she clearly fail to see that we do still retain our heritage. And our ancestors being immigrants from all over Asia, how many languages does she expect us to speak? Despite majority of Singaporeans are chinese, we should also speak malay?

Then the part about Singaporeans don't like to travel out to places like Indonesia thinking that it's not safe. I suppose anybody thinking that a place is not safe will generally NOT LIKE to travel there?? Well, I have alot of frens that i like to travel with and also, I do have some frens that doesn't like to travel (outside comfort zone, or not). I think her social circle are limited to the Atas type lah, she's an expat. She probably can't find any peers to go 7th Month Getai, chat-tu-chat bargain 20baht or even eat rojak during lunch.

CONCLUSION:
The French are arrogant, ignorant and shameless.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Loan Shark Diary # 2 - Caught on CCTV

I've decided to upload these videos to show how unbelievable these Loan Sharks are nowadays. If nothing is done by the government to stop this, we can expect more innocent victims being harassed, stuck in unsellable properties or suay suay move into marked properties.

video

You can click on this YouTube link to view as well. Added annotations in there to elaborate on the footage.

I will be posting real footages caught on cctv. These videos will remain raw and none of which shall assume characters in it are vandals, loan shark runners, criminals or whatsoever than innocent strangers and/or passers-by until proven guilty by law.

Welcome to send me your stories, links, pics and vids.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Loan Shark Diary # 1

Last week, I went home after work to change before going out to catch The Hossan Leong Show. Dee came back 10mins after me and we made our move shortly. Walking towards the loading/unloading bay, i saw 2 guys standing and chatting at the back of my car. The moment i was about to drive off, this fat guy in spectacles came to my side and stared at me! He opened my car door, stopped me and asked, "Are you XXX?!" Me and Dee were damn shocked of course and also felt damn ridiculous at the same time cause XXX is obviously a guy's name! What an IDIOT... He then asked if i was related to XXX.

I'm like who the fuck are you? Come open my car door and interogate me? So i asked him back "Who are you? What do you want?" and the fat retard just walked off to the back of my car to join his fren who is going hysterical on the phone.

I was feeling damn annoyed, angry and scared at the same time. Dee was stunned and told me "Suan Le lah! Let's go! We're late already!" But my guts got ahead of me and i unbuckled my seat belt and got off the car. At that point i know Dee got scared but i didnt know that she will follow me and get off the car too.

I overheard his fren on the phone saying in Chinese (without the malaysian accent), "The car plate number XXXX u ask me to find is here but the driver is not XXX! It's a lady! She's here!" After hearing this, i grew even suspicious of these 2 guys so i took out my iPhone 4 and took pictures of them. Thank god the lousy iPhone 4 has got flash! The guy on the phone didn't even bother to dodge the camera.

I've sketched a pic of them below. Please drop me a mail if you've seen them. thanks~!

I think the fat idiot got stunned by me getting off the car and took a pic of his fren. He tried to take a picture of me too but is a step behind me. I headed back to my car and was moving off already, the fat guy came and stood in front of my car and i had to ZAM BRAKE! He was still holding onto his phone, stretching his arms out, taking his time to try and take a good picture of me.

At this point, my thoughts caught up and i felt the need to escape from these 2 men. Cause up till this point, i have no idea what these 2 men's intentions are and i feel damn threatened that they somehow got my car number, followed me home and then now try to take pictures of me. i started inching forward but Dee said NO! I got very angry and the adrenaline kept coming so i quickly put the gear back to park, ready to get off the car to jump him. The fat idiot just left.

COWARD!

After driving for 5-10mins, the adrenaline subsided and i started to get more and more worried about later going back home. Will they be there waiting for me again?? Will they do something to my car??

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Money Lender

Last night i took over a colleague's car and parked it at my house the multi-storey carpark. Thought i can transfer the remaining season parking from the Mazda to this bulky Hyundai. Reach home open up the HDB website then they say cannot, ask me go to nearest branch during office hours. TMD~!!

This morning when i went to take my car, i saw this slim white colour note on my windscreen from afar. Really thought it's a parking fine but its not.. it was a namecard size flyer??
Observation and Analysis:
1. I've done a search on Bizfile, its not a registered entity.

2. What kinda company answer phone calls from 2.30pm - 8pm? I'm thinking this guy must be in the night business. Only free to pick up calls when he wakes up at 1pm and before he goes to work at 9pm.

3. All types of loans = Daily, Weekly and Monthly payment*. Shouldn't it be like Mortgage loan, Investment loan, business loan etc? Btw, is daily and weekly repayment suppose to be a plus point?

4. Easi approval in less than 30mins. How easy is easi? 30mins for him to contact RunnerA, RunnerA to sms RunnerB, RunnerB to BBM RunnerC, etc all the way to the Ah Long right?

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

New Regulations to Control Property Prices

I don't care if you're interested in this or not, i'm just writing this out to sort out my thoughts.

National Day Rally:
a) Allow households earning between $8,000 and $10,000, to buy new DBSS flats with a $30,000 CPF Housing Grant;
(b) Increase the supply of new flats, Design, Build and Sell Scheme (DBSS) flats, and Executive Condominiums (EC);
(c) Shorten the completion time of Build-To-Order (BTO) flats;
(d) Increase the Minimum Occupation Period (MOP) for non-subsidised flats to 5 years; and
(e) Disallow concurrent ownership of both HDB flats and private residential properties within the MOP.

Taken from HDB

On top of that, 2nd property can only loan up to 70% of the valuation.

What happens from here then?

Home owners will stay put unless they have the intention to upgrade. Investors may be looking to dump private properties now as prices are still high. Market prices should simmer or dip but nonetheless will trend to hold position as rental will go on strong. Following Q4, private property will be meeting low transaction period, new developments/launches will restrict supply if prices fall drastically with the onset of high HDB supply.

What should you do??

Private Property: Sell high, rent and then buy low later.

HDB: Should take the opportunity to grab DBSS now. If not, then just wait for private property prices to dip... if it happens!

HBD Hotlines:

Sales/Resale Customer Service Line : 1800 8663 066

Branch Office Service Line : 1800 2255 432

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Taipei Hilton #2

A fren related this story to me, its a true account of her cousin's experience in the hotel. The couple just got back to the hotel from their shopping spree. While walking towards the lift lobby, she noticed these 3 huge paintings on the walkway that looked a bit out of place. So she nudged her husband and said casually in Mandarin, "Aren't these painting weird?" The moment she finish her sentence, she suddenly just fell forward, face down onto the flat polished floor, shopping bags flung all over the place.


Her husband was stunned cause she didn't even lose her balance before the fall, it was just too sudden and too fast. He held her up and asked her what happened. She said that she didn't trip,


something smacked into her...


It has been rumoured that the spirits in the hotel are very xiong. The 3 paintings in the lobby are said to have tailmans hidden behind them. And they are placed there to supress the Sha Qi!



Do you anything placed in an unusual spot or placed in a different way? You think its art? I think think its for the 'residents'...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Taipei Hilton Hotel #1

I've heard of many ghost stories and even been thru a few eerie moments in my life. But this Hilton Hotel in Taiwan is really one of the scariest stories that will make me shit my pants. I was told that the hotel is very haunted. Singapore Airlines no longer place their staff there but if you ask any senior steward/ess that flies to Taiwan, they will know:

THERE IS AN URN HIDDEN IN EVERY ROOM.
It's usually placed in secluded cupboard high above sight. Check the top deep end of the wardrobe, fridge or above the mini bar.

They say the urns are to subdue the evil spirits, keep them from disturbing the guests in the rooms. Do you dare to search for it??


Update on New Majestic Hotel Post

I received a msg earlier today from a close fren who said my crime posts are dry despite all the effort that i've put in creating the pics which i thought were hilarious. If i were to rate myself, i would have given myself a 7/10 but her response felt like a 2/10. She prefered the Freaky Friday the 13th post and said it gave her chills. So, turning despair into progress, I have constructively taken her advise to good use and to put up a picture for that post to top up the horror factor. ENJOY!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Freaky Friday the 13th!!

This morning I went over to New Majestic Hotel to pick up my fren who just flew in from Miri yesterday. When i got there, i was surprised that she was already at the lobby having a smoke cause i purposely parked my car, wanted to go up and look at her room! However, she looked a bit stressed and told me that she just kena something she think is very weird.

She left her underwear in the shower after she bathed at around 3.30am last night. In between, she and her fren went to the loo agar 3 times and there weren't anything unusual. This morning, after washing up, she put on the DO NOT DISTURB sign and went down to the restaurant for her complimentary breakfast. And when she came back, she found her underwear

INSIDE THE TOILET BOWL!

I felt the super cold chill down my spine the very instant and all my hair (i have a lot) stood on ends! But because she still have another 3 nights stay, I told her, "AIYA! It's the draft lah! U know, in an enclosed area when u open or close the door, there's the wind!" She gave me this deadly stare and brought me up to look at her room. At that point, I already cannot make it, i wanted to siam, change topic and leave liao but she started walking back to the hotel. My hair was standing all the way. At the lobby the lift door open only my heart skipped a beat. Where got people design to put green lighting inside the lift one??!!! so fucking eerie!

Her room is a 2 storey Loft. Although the bathroom is small, the shower and the toilet bowl is a distance away, seperated by a glass divider. So if it's really a draft, the wind direction will need to have enough speed to lift the underwear in one direction and then boomerang it in another trajectory to enter the toilet bowl... The moment we're out of the room, i start to think of the Taiwan Hilton Hotel stories. And i started questioning in my head, if any of the decor are unusual that could have hidden tailsmans or urns inside them to counter this kinda thing. Hmm...

A Piece of Advice: If you cannot solve the underwear mystery, you better start praying.

*24/8/10: Updated picture to this post cause Rong says will attract hits.

Friday, August 13, 2010

7th Month Encounter When Praying

Last night before i went to meet Klara, i decided to help my mom with the incense and offerings for the 7th month. If you don't know, or don't recall, the lunar 7th month is the Hungry Ghost Festival aka, 1month holiday for all the residents of hell. Anyway, right after i prayed and plant the joss sticks into the ground, as i stood back up, i thought i saw a dark shadow at the corner of my eye. The moment i turned towards my left, the shadow kinda swirled and vanished. This happened in less than 2seconds. I wasn't SCARED scared but i did have a bit of a HUH!? in my heart silently maybe cause its too fast to register. I decided that it MUST be my shadow cause im standing under the lamp post and stop my thoughts from running wild.

5hours later, I siamed a road block at Outram Rd which i would have definitely failed the breathelizer. And today i got totally drenched at Jurrasic Park and my iPhone 4 survived!

If you wanna siam road block or save ur iPhone, you better pray now!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Crime Doesn't Bother Me - #3 People Asking for Money

3. People Asking for Money

There are basically 2 types of people who will ask you for money and the anxiety level varies with the type of people that you meet. The first type is the homeless. They are pretty harmless, have their own comfortable sites to display their 'artwork' or just to rest/hang around. They go by pulling your heart strings to your money and don't approach you unless they are desperate. They are probably the best at handling rejections though sometimes, there are those grouchy or crazy ones who will act out on you. But don't have to worry, they usually don't run after people who insult/assault them cause they have too many things to carry on the move.
The second type are the ones that you need to be careful of - Junkies. They are always there in the city, loitering at fastfood restaurants (not just dodgy places) and you'll bound to be approached by them sometime. They are socially functioning/working people, who might be drug runners, pushers, prostitutes or possible multi-tasking all these roles in the underworld. If they are tweaking, their senses are even more hyped up, they can possibly run after you like a Cheetah, and pound at you better than a hungry grizzly.

They usually tell (they don't ask) you to give them money and when you don't, you'll hurt their feelings. They are not good at handling rejections at all possibly due to working under an even more jialat boss/have not slept for 2weeks/suffering from withdrawals/had to give 15 blowjobs at the back alley during lunch time/feeling worried about a rash/syphillis acting up/etc.

So just treat them with a bit more respect than you normally would to your boss and show them your sincerity. Look at them in the eye, say ok and make an effort to dig your pockets for a good 5-10secs before you give them a dollar or two. They will leave you alone and sometimes even say thanks (really hard to anticipate how they'll react).

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Crime Doesn't Bother Me - #2 Racist Remarks

2. Random Racist Remarks

These remarks usually makes me very irritated/angry and sometimes confuse but definitely not scared. Sometimes you hear something angry but u can't make out what it is. Or, you're not sure if it was aimed at you or somebody else. These cowardly buggers usually hurl insults on the move - in a car, on a tram, in a train, as they are walking away, etc.
I place this in #2 because the anxiety/anger grows and dwells for a while. Yet there's nothing much u can do to get back at them, so typically i'll just ignore them and then in my head formulate a 3sec phrase that i can spit back the next time it happens. But it never worked cause they always say something new!
*Disclaimer: Picture is made up purely for dipiction purposes. Do not relate the person in the picture to be racist against asians or stick figures.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Crime Doesn't Bother Me - #1 Stalking

I've decided to come up with a list of 'CRIMES' that i've experienced in Melbourne that's worth ur entertainment. It's quite a list and not ALL were crimes. Some were just "Hmm, it would've been a crime if i hadn't outsmarted the aggressor!" I've ranked them in terms of the anxiety/fear i felt..
1. Stalked by a Stranger

Being stalked when you're alone CAN be really frightening! But i wasn't scared at all when it happened to me cause I didn't realise it until i got into my car and thought to myself, "Hmm, that guy was acting rather weird isn't it..?" Anyway, I was just walking out of Pacific Seafood when i noticed this japanese guy walking past me. I turned into the small dark lane at the end of the road towards my car. While turning, i felt a bit weird, like an intuition thing. The voice in my head just told me to walk in the middle of the road. And at the very instant, from the corner of my eye, I saw the japanese guy now walking in my direction, also turning into the small lane.When I got to my car, i took my time to open the door and place my takeaway properly, and also to take a good look at the guy. He immediately stopped and turned towards this restaurant that's right next to him, looking high and low inside as if he was searching for someone/something. Where got timing so zun, i stop at my car and he also stop walking? And come one lah! The restaurant had full length glass windows and so brightly lit. You can see everything in a glance..

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Utter Disappointment - Nandos

My first trip to Nandos I purposely got off work an hour early, reached there at 530pm only to be greeted by a sign that says, "We're closed at 6pm today!" -_-" 2nd trip there kena super long queue that wasn't moving.

My 3rd trip was yesterday. Dee got there early and got seated immediatly so I quickly parked my car and went up. There weren't any servers when I was at the door so I just stepped in to look for Dee. Suddenly, this really tall ah char raced behind me and called out, "HEY EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME MISS! CAN I HELP YOU?" As if i was trying to cut the queue, steal something or plant a bomb lah! My goodness, I was merely standing there looking around for Dee, which i think is quite obvious ley.. Don't need to raise his voice and make everybody turn their head and give me the dirty look right? Nabey..

Anyway, I finally sat down and we've decided to share the 1/2 Chicken that comes with 2 sides. We chose Peri Chips and Peri Corn for the sides and we requested the waiter to give us an extra plate cause we're sharing. While waiting, I started telling Dee that this Nandos is very different from those in Melbourne and London. Usually the decor is red and green that's more Mexicano, hispanic. But this one has alot of brown and gold, a bit Indo. And there isn't any counter to place your own orders or menu boards to look at. The table tag is a black metal rooster instead of the colourful wooden rooster number tag. The uniform were a bit dull compared to those in Melbourne that had one-liners like, "We don't serve drunk chicks."

When our food came, this was how it looked:
I totally snapped... Do you see anything wrong with this picture?? No??
How bout this?

Not clear enough? Try this with added diagrams:

I really find that Peri Corn very miserable and ridiculous. So outrageous that I went on and on at it and kaobey to Dee last night before I slept and this morning again before I went to work. We had assumed that pricing at $22 would be relatively sumptious for 2 people but it was barely enough. NEVERMIND, I can close an eye on that. But wtf is that piece of corn sooooooo fucking small?? I'm not asking for like 5 and a half rows of corn here, but an equivalent portion to the fries would be reasonable yah!? On the sides menu, it says $3.50 if i remember correctly. I rather eat the $2 bland cup corn at GV..


Even hawker centre chicken chop ah ceks also know what is appropriate portioning.

As if this wasn't appalling enough. After we finished our food, this waiter/OM came to clear our plates. While holding the plate, he stood there and said with a questioning nod (sticking out the chin kinda nod), "How's the food?" Me and Dee were a bit stunned by the abrupt and crude interruption. And there he repeated himself with the questioning nod again. I dunno how you define customer service but without an appropriate opening line like a courteous greeting, shooting a question blankly with the stupid nod is definitely impolite/rude in any social situation. Even if you didn't mean to, you've definitely made yourself appear to be integorative and disrespectful. I won't mind if i know him personally, but him being an operation manager of an international franchise, I really cannot tah han. I'll rate him Double Fail and this Bugis branch can kiss my ass.

Friday, July 23, 2010

SCB Sucks too!

This is sort of like a part 2 from my previous post DBS Is Shit (setting up a corporate bank account). After retrieving my $40,000 cheque from the big-ass fat manager Madelene, I made a call to Standard Chartered Bank's RM. She sent me the form and guided me thru filling the details. In authorised signatories page, there's a box for you to write down any specific instructions. For the years of studying, I have always thought that a big empty box on a worksheet or a form meant "write what you want clearly in your own words". So i wrote, "Group A authorise any amount. Group B requires both signature to authorise any amount."
The RM called and told me to re-word it and im like,

"HUH? Is it not clear enough?"
"Err.. The sentences might be read in other ways and cause misunderstanding."
"Group A only need 1 signature, Group B need 2 signatures. U all work in banks should know what i meant right?"
"Yah. I understand very clearly but cause it's written down so it's better to phrase it more straight forward."
"Hmm.. I don't know how to paraphrase it to make it any clearer. Why don't you tell me what to write."
"Errr... Just say something like, "For any amount, Group A dash 1 to sign and Group B dash 2 to sign.""
"OK."
Reflecting on this incident as I'm writing made me realise that im indeed a fool and terribly ignorant to even have the intention of defaming them when im the idiot. If they had wanted me to write sentences, they would have drawn lines in the box! How could i not notice!? Did you not know that too?? We have been groomed and so accustomed to writting essays, emails and formal business letters that when we're given an empty box, we under-utilize our ability to express ourselves. From now on, I will make full use of such empty spaces to express myself to the fullest. On a seperate occassion, this SCB lady teller who looks around early thirties was serving me. She passed me the bundle of cash and i asked for an envelope to put them in. The stack was quite thick and she saw me having problem closing the lid and she said to me, "Do you need Skors-stage?"
"Huh?"
"Do you need Skors-stage?"
"OH! No need! Thanks!" and i walked out am-chioing in my head, cursing why nobody's with me to hear this!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

How to Remove iPhone Cover

I bought Dee an Uncommon Capsule Case for her iPhone. It's the sliding kind which is suppose to be the best type. It's really thick and the design is similar to this Owl . After using it for 2months, Dee wanted to take out the cover to clean some accumulated dust but she couldn't. It didn't even budge unless u count 0.1cm as something significant. So she just ditched the idea and waited, hoping one day the case will decide to come out on its own (like we all do).
Another 2 months past, I bought her a UNU battery case that has a fitted flash light. This time she attempts to take the cover out again to fit her new gadget on but yeah, its just so super tightly snugged like it was cemented. I tried googling for help and the results were:
1. Place your iPhone in the freezer for 5mins so that your phone will contract.
2. Break the whole case into small pieces since ur probably damn pissed off anyway!
3. Put some kinda oil to lubricate the sides and it will slide off easily. The person mentioned a specific brand of oil but i've forgotten and think it's too risky already. Seep in how?? Dee will kill me!
Anyway, i started to look for objects that can fit thru the ear piece hole on top of the case.
I finally found this permanent marker that has a tough eraser at the end that can fit through! With a few thuds, i was able to slide the case out about 3cm! So i immediately when to show Dee with a WIDE grin that i achieved something.. hehehe... But my grin was short-lived.
Even though i was able to fit my fingers thru, i couldnt take it out at all. And it hurt my fingers so much yah.. Can't even wiggle it through! >_<"


My last resort which really worked rather quickly and without much effort..

I took a few different type of round chopsticks to try and yeah, they fit quite well! Hold the chopstick in place with ur thumb firmly. Hold the top part firm enough to balance the phone and loose enough for it to slide up upon impact. Once ready, thrust the phone + Chopstick downwards with reasonable force. Newton says Force = Mass X Acceleration, but over here, i'l like to think that:
FORCE = FRUSTRATION + PAIN EXPERIENCED
Start slow and increase the force along with sense of desperation. Dee's phone came out entirely with around 3-4 thrusts.
If you find this tip useful, or even just slightly entertaining, please click on the advertisement and help your pal out.. :)
Disclaimer: This is how i managed to get my phone out safe and sound. Under no circumstances shall this post or i be responsible for any breakage of chopsticks or iphones.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Study Methods for CEHA Paper 2 & 3

I just got back my CEHA results a while ago and to my horror, I failed Paper 1 which I had studied the most. I was so super confident that I will score since I've done some business law units when i was in Uni. Surprisingly, I passed Paper 2 and Paper 3 which i thought i would have definitely failed. Thinking back, I presume it must have been the different studying methods that I've used.

Study Method for Paper 1: FAIL
I attended almost all of the lessons very attentively. Tirelessly wrote alot of notes on each topic. Printed notes to revise and memorise the god damn URA Act and the sickening Development Charge etc.

Do drop me a mail if you want my fabulous notes. I more than happy to share with you my knowledge like how I'm sharing the correct method to study for CEHA to the world.

Study Method for Paper 2 and Paper 3: PASSED
Step 1 - Procrastinate and slowly taper off your attendance to the Paper 2 and Paper 3 classes. Get ur classmates to mark the attendance for you - very important!

Step 2 - Book tickets and go to London for 10 days. Walk around the city and take lots of pictures.

Step 3 - Eat lots of fish and chips.

Step 4 - Go on a road trip to Stonehenge.

Step 5, 6, 7 and 8 - Go to Gala and play a few rounds of blackjack. Drink lots of beer. Go to Saatchi Gallery and get inspired. Fly back to Singapore and skim through the CEHA notes the night before the exam.

Exam Tips:

During Paper 1, I drafted and planned what I had wanted to write. Processed my thoughts in argueing each case with reference to the relevant laws that I had remembered by heart. Wrote with much clarity and finished what I had wanted to express ahead of time. I can't emphasize enough, I failed this paper so please do not adopt this method of studying and exam habits!!

What you really need to know about how to prepare for Paper 2 & Paper 3 is to panic and regret not being disciplined enough to study during the London trip. Give up on simple calculation questions even though you have memorised the Development Charge formular, yet feeling confused and not quite confident to apply. Pick open-ended questions where you do not require to give a definite or quantified answer. And then bullshit and smoke through with all the mini bits and fragments of memory you had of yourself sitting back in the CEHA class playing with ur phone. This is how I got through Paper 2 and 3!!

Anybody with tips to tackle Paper 1 please contact me asap! I'm retaking it in July..!! Need help!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

DBS is Shit

Why? WHY?! Why must i always face this kinda situation where big corporates think they can way their way with me and sodomise me? It's already shit to fill up 4-5 pages of application form. Suay suay 1 mistake and i need to go get another set of fresh forms to fill. And how unfortunate can i get? This CB Giao Torh customer service gave me 1 page short in the set of application forms! Imbecile! Here's the rest of the story which i wrote on the Customer Feedback Form just 5mins ago. Fuck you DBS for your ever long queues and overpaid shit manager!


Hi there, our company intended to open another coporate account for our newly set up company called G****** International Pte Ltd. I went to the Habourfront branch last Tuesday/Wednesday and submitted the application forms together with a $40,000 cheque to this nice Malay lady whom i think her name was ***. She called me last Friday to tell me that my application was rejected and she is unable to give me the reason as to why. She had duly adviced me to go back to the branch to collect the cheque. Instead, i requested that she get somebody who can help me to call me back. She promptly got the manager to call me and i explained to her that we have got 3 corporate accounts with DBS and would like our new company to be with DBS so that it'll be more convenient for us. She said she'll review the application and get back to me on monday, 7th June.

Today is already the 8th of June. I have received no replies from her. I called the 1800-111-1111 earlier and your customer service said they'll get her to contact me asap. Its already 6pm now and i still have received no news.

If your bank is unwilling to support our new business then please return me my $40,000 cheque. Don't hold it for 1 god damn week and not give me any news. I truly hope you guys have not misplaced or lost my cheque or conveniently forgotten to follow up on my case.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Fujifilm Mounted!

I received a call from Fujifilm 1 week after I sent them the Service Feedback email. Those who missed out, please read the email in my previous post. (It's a joy to read and will also give you a great sense of justice, that our voice as a consumer is being heard!)

Anyway! The manager called and told me that they have taken apart the camera, took them alot of effort to blow out all the sand particles from the littlest crevices and fixed it. They will not charge me any money for it, except for the $10.70 that i have already paid. And on top of that, they have contacted their Japan office to try and find out how much it would cost for an exact new set to be shipped in for me.

I was catch unprepared, so i said, "Oh, ok. That's great. So when can I go collect the camera? Tomorrow?" in a really calm and straight voice even though i was in fact jumping up and down, feeling victorious! It was like that one time in JC when i scored 12/20 for the econs essay where the rest of my class had failed theirs. Super duper happy but i have to keep it inside to remain diplomatic.. The moment i put down the phone, i was sending VICTORY emails to everybody.

I was back to the service centre once again to collect the repaired camera, nothing changed. The reception was slow and the same malay girl serving me took like 15mins to find my camera in all the drawers to then realise that it's with the manager. The manager came out to meet me personally and apologised to me about the technician. We did a test shot and the quality remained great but can see the side of the lens were badly scratched when its extended.

Jessica was very upset about it for quite a while. I was upset that i broke her camera and got it badly scratched too. At the same time, I'm head over heels about winning this battle! Wheeee!

Kenny, if you're reading this, you must feel proud that the camera went to battle and came back with victory k!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Pinkdot 2010 - Triumphant Declaration

It was my virgin Pinkdot. Glad to see many supporting families and frens, spreading the message of love and acceptance. The Pinkdot video are very touching. If you have not seen it, please go! It's an opportunity for you to kick your daily thoughts of chores and start thinking about the bigger picture for a moment before you resume to the humanity regressive 9-5pm cycle.

Dee didn't go last year and her frens who were able to spot themselves on the aerial pic must have made alot of triumphant declarations (TDs) on facebook. This year, she brought me there with great determination to accomplish the mission of being in the aerial pic.
However, when we got there, i realise that Dee was wrong. It wasn't about being in the aerial pic and posting TDs. She must have been blinded by envy and took the TD decoys. Being surrounded by >4000 people in pink, my competive alterego started to realise that it was all about being the Pinkiest!! It is a pink war~!
In my head, i started a Pink point system with the tone of pink that peopel are wearing, number of pink accessories, presence of non-pink member in the group and animals in pink were bonus points. Below is a brief description of my warfare vision on that day.

The average attendees:


Pink War Winner:

Anyway, unprepared to fight the pink war with Dee, I returned my focus to fight the fake war and won the "ability to spot myself faster than Dee with my ultra topology and geomatric skills" award.



Unfortunately, Marilyn, Melvin and Yi were cut off from the pic.

TD for Pinkdot 2010: Better luck next year!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Lorry Car Chase

Today on my way to work, I saw this lorry in front of me which i thought was quite cool! So i took out my stupid phone, switch it to camera mode and waited for 2seconds for it to unhang (its always lagging), the lights were green and the lorry took off. I had to switch between looking at the road and lorry in the camera like 5000times per second. The number of tasks that are required to be done all at the same time requires high level of coordination and skills. I did a little sketch of me performing this dangerous act that should not be attempted unless you're a pro!

I missed my opportunity when he was waiting to turn right into Tiong Bahru Plaza. With my sharp decision-making skills, i did the turn out of the usual route that i take to work to follow him to chase the shot. My senses told me that i have to go for it! There's nothing that can stop me from taking this pic! I cannot let my viewers down!

There it is...




Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mounting Fuji

I know how economically unwise it might be for big companies to pick parts out of their factories all over the world to repair a camera. But this is just silly..! I'm so overwhelmed by ridicule now i wanna say the next sentence in spasms.

JOSS STICK! ANTENNA! CONNECT! SPIRITS! ABSURD! ARGHH!


ok, i think the pic might be too challenging for those with Presbyopia. Here is the type out:
To: Fujifilm
Cc: Brenda, Marilyn, Lesley
Hi there,

I’ve just grown to love the FUJI Instax Mini 25 after holding it for half a day. Me and my bunch of friends were having a lot of fun with it and were very happy with the instant quality photos that we got during my friend’s hen’s party. Unfortunately, the camera dropped on the beach, the sand invaded our camera and ended our fun.

My bunch of friends and I were contemplating whether to fix it or to buy a new camera. But knowing that it’s a Japan version which we won’t be able to find in Singapore, we decided that FUJI should be able to do the magic and shall just get a quotation first. There I was at your office on the 4th May, greatly appalled by the $10.70 Diagnostic Fee just to get a quotation for the repair.

It’s 13th May today and I haven’t gotten any quotations from any of your technicians or customer service officers. When I called, one of your employee just told me that it’s more economical to buy a new one than to repair the camera as they will have to change EVERYTHING inside the camera. And the cost of shipping all the parts required will not be economically wise. I reminded him that I won’t be able to get this model in Singapore. And I need a figure of how much it would cost for him to repair it but he is just not answering me and repeated the economically wise speech. I paid $10.70 to get a quotation so I think I deserve a proper answer 9 days later. However, without giving me an answer, he decided to get another technician to call me back to tell me.

15 minutes later, I thought maybe I can just buy the same model off the internet and swap the cover back to the original one. So I called back to your office again. And the technician said yes, they can just change the cover and will only charge me the labour cost $50.00. I was mildly put off by the $50.00 I have to pay for changing the cover after all the unnecessary waiting and work that I have done to come up with the solution. Feeling more at ease that I finally found a solution to fix the camera, I put down the phone and told my friends the good news.

After a while, a few realizations starts to set in to my horror:

What did I pay $10.70 for? Technician did not give any options/solutions other than keep pushing me to buy a new one. I wasn’t given any useful advice and I was the one who came up with a repair solution. Plus, I still have not been given a quotation.

Technician clearly knew that this model is not sold in Singapore yet he still insist that I should just buy a new one. Like from where? This is a FUJI product, am I at a wrong place?

I resort to hunting down this particular FUJI camera model off the internet so that I can retain the original cover to ‘repair’ it, which is absolutely absurd. According to the economically wise speech, it is cheaper to buy FUJI Instax Mini 25 off eBay than for FUJI SINGAPORE to ship the same camera model from other global FUJI office to repair my camera.

This is not the type of after-sale service that we have expected especially from a Japanese company.

Regards,
Pei Pei
Marketing Executive

Friday, February 12, 2010

My first post~!

I've been procrastinating on writing my first post since i set up this blog. Why? i couldn't decide what would be a good opening topic for me to talk about.

1. Overeasy event where ladies get free drinks according to the size of their breasts
2. Pastor Rony Tan poking fun of Taoism and Buddhism
3. Romanian Ambassdor hit-and-run and then stir up a controversy

the longer i take to think (or procrastinate), the more issues arose to talk about.. *don't give up*

Anyway~! to set a better flow of blog production, this blog shall be set to writing controversial issues like the above and also issues in my surrounding. always alot of things to think, reflect and kaobey about. oooh, and i should probably set a point to journal my lifelong arguements with the few different but important people in my life. that'll be fun cause over here, i get to say all i want and therefore i win!

i guess this is a somewhat an OK starting post, setting some directions and expectations. Hopefully the next post i can title "CNY Winnings"..