First experience being in the middle of the Universe

It was a very high and dark starry night sky. Just the right amount of moonlight, dimly romancing my vision. The stars were dazzling, bright and sharp, spotting the infinite dark universe. No faraway blinking satellite nonsense.

*pic took from http://weheartit.com/entry/18790015

This is close to what i saw where i was, only way darker, fewer but distinct stars. Right in the middle of it, i was on the white mattress laid on fresh green grass patch. I could feel the gentle breeze relieving the heat, not too chilly, not too warm, just right. It was amazing and then i started to flip back to reality in flashes like teleportation. I fought hard to stay in the hole, but i was sucked back eventually. Exhausted and trying to make sense of things, i brought myself back, lying there in bed, just breathing.

Toufu Hero's Nemesis

September 2011 was horrible but October 2011 was amazingly petrifying. Went through a lot of thoughts and tiptoed my life on the edge. I'm proud to have tested the strengths of Hero and also do ridicule the (still) wonderful Toufu thoughts. I've witness the destruction of the devil in its fullest power. And i stood there starring at it in the face. I didn't win but i'm not losing. Having walked a path less traveled, i've gained knowledge to recognise it and marching on forward. Sticking to the dysfunctional Nyx got us both stronger in our own realms of dysfunction. *appreciation*

Friends

Everyone stands a different position in my life as according to the type of advisory roles they play.

1. Conservative

They are very important to drag me back to earth from outer space. But of course at times the gap is wider than usual and I find its harder to relate. Usually its the household topics like HDB, renovation, etc. But every soon i will catch up with my endowment and annuity policies! yes people, u didn't read wrongly, i'm on my way to selling all of you your Heterosexual Lifestyle Package.

2. Authoritative

Mostly role models in my life but i hardly get any much from them anymore. And this is the reason why my role models have turned into people who i don't want to be like. Somehow just more real and easier to reach my goals by disassociation.

3. Special Interests

Unusual people who are special to me, who are warped and twisted in a way against everybody else than me. They are comforting to be with when doing bad things or when shit happens in general. The relationship is always used and abused and never broken.

4. The Core

They are the very foundations in shaping your life besides marriage and kids. And i shall end with this poem dedication:

This is my Core. There are many like it, but this one is MINE.

My Core is my best friend. It is my life.

I must master it as i master my life.

My Core without me is useless. Without my Core, i am useless.

I must fire my Core true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me.

I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will...

My Core and myself know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire,

the noise of our bursts, nor the smoke we make.

We know it is the hits that count. We will hit...

My Core is human, even as i, because it is my life.

Thus, i will learn it as a sister. i will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel.

I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage. i will keep my Core clean and ready, even as i am clean and ready.

We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God i swear this creed.

My Core and myself are the defenders of my country.

We are the masters of our enemy.

We are the saviors of my life.

It Has To Be a Fight Club

I had a very different perception of the same dialogue that took place. This happens quite frequently cause i'm not always paying attention and i'm just different.. I was there when things happened, i spoke up but too little in effect to make any difference to help. Therefore now i watch things happen in regret. I who rule by the mind should have guided those who ruled by the heart, but i got clouded and swayed. And at this point i remind myself that by pointing my own fingers at myself first, i'm still steering in the right healthy side.

Since when do we have contempt? doubt? selfishness? emotional irresponsibility? We have shown more of these traits of the lesser us. It is silly to think that things will fall in place with time by now, we should all be warned.

In this i'll learn to make an ever more positive impact to deter negativity. It is not a battle. It has to be a fight club.

Our time is ticking...

Running Bells

I hear alarm bells ringing at times.. more often these days and it's scary. Things should change for the better and if its not then start turning the other way.

I think that i'm a very rational person. And sometimes (many times), i think i get a bit S&M and cruel, having no room for grey areas and empathy.

My frens always say that i'm very lucky but i'd to think that i'm stupidly brave instead. Everyone have the same capacity to choose. And as with every choice, there comes the opportunity cost of sacrifice simply depending on you're appetite for LIFE.

I've also come to realize that i'm a fast (impulsive?) decision maker. From what to eat, drink to traveling and all, i seldom find myself spending more than 5mins. I guess the reason is that I can always change my mind later if i have to.

The issue of selfishness is there. But whenever i put myself in other's shoes, i tend to play a supportive role even if its for the most stupidest cause. How often do one get an opportunity like that? And if you miss this one, will u ever get it again? If yes, then when?

I'd push everyone if i can and because of this, i can't be held back. I love receiving advices and different perspectives on things. But like i've said, usually i've already made up my mind under 5mins.

I think I'm an Action Person

I remember reading one of those psycho-analytic books whereby you fill up questionaires and they tell u what kinda person u are. The one that i read has got 4 categories, Visual, Audio, Action and Feeling (i think). It determines what kinda cues will respond to you more effectively and efficiently. My result was Action and then i passed the book onto my friend and then she found out that i did the questionaire wrongly - i ranked the answers the other way round. GREAT! I think that im pretty much an action person but the book says that im not. But i've come to realise that all these don't matter anyway cause what you've done and/or what you've said is irrelevant. Why? Because many times it's up to what the other party think of what she has heard (not neccessary the whole story).

Stubborn to Learn

Ok so i realize that i have a very stubborn attitude towards learning and experience life in all sorts. Thats the best way that i can put it apart from how my shit friends will say that im stupid. Thats the risk that i take and at the end of it there's always something i'll learn. And somehow that's the best way to learn too! Sucks to be me? I just tend to look at the brighter side of people/things and am patient enough to live it through... My backpacking trip to Europe has once again brought to my attention of how great an impact it has made on me to have lived abroad for that 5 years in my life.

1. There are many levels of independence, much like that of an onion.

I suppose that most people would think of independence in a financial sense. But i totally object to this notion simply because life is more than just that. Maybe im not suited to comment on this cause i never had to (and i also actively choose NOT to by saving) worry about money in my life before. I stick to the fact that i view money very differently to excuse myself.

ANYWAY, the layers of independence that i uncovered are social independence and emotional independence. Social independence in the sense of being sociable enough to make connections with people and not commit too many social suicides in random situations. And also being street smart that when the unexpected happens, u know how to react to save yourself. It's like how u realise that there's a cockcroach in the lift after the door closes, u become terrified and u freeze? This is about unfreezing and acting on ur fear to save yourself.

There are many ways that i can think of to explain my version of emotional independence but it kinda boils down to being comfortable with yourself, alone. That when ur down and alone, u are mentally strong enough to be rational over your emotions for your own sake. Also, i think it hovers around the area of being spiritually whole with oneself. (do i sound crazy?)

2. Learning is sadly not a priority in people

Its either that i have a great variety of interests or its just the joy of learning that i know a lot of useless information. There is always a superb satisfaction in learning or even just observing how things work, how people or animals interact and behave.

Although I think ignorance is sometimes a bliss, it is definitely a suicide to understanding anything, everything and including one self. Admitting ignorance is hard, taking an interest to learn from it is much easier isn't it? But the act of active ignorance is way too hard for me to stomach. I feel gingerly disappointed (and sometimes disgusted) whenever i see people choosing ignorance over a learning experience. It is NOT ok to not learn just because its difficult/far away/useless/makes u sick. How often does one step out of their circle to explore knowledge -spiritually, physically and emotionally?

When was the last time u explored something that was foreign to you? When was the last time u found something that moved you and u embraced it? When was the last time that you thought or reflected on something that taught u something about life?

Most of the information that i gain is mostly useless in my life. But the invaluable knowledge that i gain is how it made me think, understanding my own thinking process, how things take their forms and how it shapes an attitude.

Reflecting on this point, i have to conclude that learning and changing behaviour/attitude are on different planes. So if you ask me why sometimes i make the same mistakes again? i will tell you that its a different situation and i learnt different lessons from it.

Absolute Me (in credit terms)

I just read this blogger discussing about credit card. The blogger's wife commented that when she used to buy things, she didnt buy them with money but emotions. Each time before you swipe the card, you're probably thinking that "It's ok that i can't pay today, I can find a way to pay for it later."

BUT

The Present You doesn’t really know the Future You.

"I’ve thought often about how the Future Me always seems to be vastly different than the Present Me — and different than I would have predicted. Yet I used to make dumb decisions in the present as if my future self would somehow develop the superpowers to save me. Instead, Future Me simply ended up cursing my past choices."

I realized that i'm behaving this way everytime before i go on a holiday - drawing the money out from my savings and spending the commission that i have not yet received. Thinking that in the future i will have more extra cash to pay for this. And omg, all these positive thinking happens in a flash and fun-filled excitement when paying for the airticket/hotel online. Although I do have extra cash to spend now than a 1 year back, but the amount is not as much as i had pictured then. So friends, let's try not use ur emotions to make my emotions buy things.

Assess my own accounts, the only part of the Financial Freedom i have achieved now is that i have no debt or liability which i am cautious not to incur any (by not having a car). The more critical part is that i have no Assets and assets takes capital to build which i am at least 2 - 4 years financially lagged behind most of my peers and probably will not have a dual income supplement in the future.

CONCLUSION:

When the Present You is picturing a future you, please try to picture me as an actual Past You (2-4 years ago) cause that's the Present Me. And those already married, please kindly divide by 2 to get the Absolute Me. Thanks~!

What are my skills?

Just the other day, I was reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad while pooing in the loo. It was talking about specializing skills in a profession. Like professors, the most common way that they can get a higher salary is by studying more and more about less and less. And its these sort of specialization that makes them more and more vulnerable in the economy. So much that they will be entirely dependent on unions to help them out when shit happens. The chapter straight away made me think of a previous conversation i had with my frens. They were saying that they can teach Chemical Engineering and Hospitality. And i am the Jack of all trades, master of none. To which I said, I would like to set-up and run campus activities.

It just hit me that when i said that, I was in fact choosing my own interest and not a job without knowing it. Though not so much as to be THE passion, but yah, I guess its because i don't have and am not confined to a specialty. And most of all, I like going for road trips, camps and adventure.

What are my skills? I know how to register a business, what are the legal requirements, accounting using MYOB, CPF contribution. Compared to my frens, i think im pretty good with numbers which is always handy in formulating my own excel sheets for splitting up party costs to tabulating mortgage loan interests.

The skills that i need:

- Sales

- Network

- Rapport

- u n L a z i n e s s

Fuck the French

We were all happily drinking at Toca last week and then these 3 french girls came in and decided to just join us. As the alcohol poured and the conversations roll, one of the french lady started the topic (like Hitler clearing his throat)

"So what do you all think of the french people?"

"... I'm not judging, don't get me wrong.. but why don't Singaporeans speak Malay?"

So all of us looked at her with amusement and i was giving the (O_O)"> look. So i said to her, "Cause we are chinese."

"But why don't you learn to speak Malay?"

"Because we are chinese, our ancestors came from chinese and so we learn chinese."

"Yes i know you are chinese, but why don't learn how to speak Malay? Is such a beautiful language."

"... Cause we already know English and Chinese?!"

"..."

"..."

"I notice that most of the Singaporeans here don't like Malays. And Singaporeans don't seem to like to travel out."

"That's totally not true. You need to know more Singaporeans to say that."

If the French go Australia, will she ask the Aussies if they speak Aboriginal? And then go on to push to ask why don't they eat grubs? It's full of protein!

Language is fluid, it changes as time passes, new words or new ways of saying things are formed everyday. Like in the past, Singaporeans would have told the French girl to "Balek Kampong/Qu Si Ba! Si San Ba!/Go back to France!" But in this current era, we would have gladly said, "You fucking cunt!"

Anyway, the point that im trying to make it that she being a French probably see us Singaporeans speaking English as a form of Westernisation like we're white-washed. But she clearly fail to see that we do still retain our heritage. And our ancestors being immigrants from all over Asia, how many languages does she expect us to speak? Despite majority of Singaporeans are chinese, we should also speak malay?

Then the part about Singaporeans don't like to travel out to places like Indonesia thinking that it's not safe. I suppose anybody thinking that a place is not safe will generally NOT LIKE to travel there?? Well, I have alot of frens that i like to travel with and also, I do have some frens that doesn't like to travel (outside comfort zone, or not). I think her social circle are limited to the Atas type lah, she's an expat. She probably can't find any peers to go 7th Month Getai, chat-tu-chat bargain 20baht or even eat rojak during lunch.

CONCLUSION:

The French are arrogant, ignorant and shameless.

Loan Shark Diary # 2 - Caught on CCTV

I've decided to upload these videos to show how unbelievable these Loan Sharks are nowadays. If nothing is done by the government to stop this, we can expect more innocent victims being harassed, stuck in unsellable properties or suay suay move into marked properties.

You can click on this YouTube link to view as well. Added annotations in there to elaborate on the footage.

I will be posting real footages caught on cctv. These videos will remain raw and none of which shall assume characters in it are vandals, loan shark runners, criminals or whatsoever than innocent strangers and/or passers-by until proven guilty by law.

Welcome to send me your stories, links, pics and vids.

Loan Shark Diary # 1

Last week, I went home after work to change before going out to catch The Hossan Leong Show. Dee came back 10mins after me and we made our move shortly. Walking towards the loading/unloading bay, i saw 2 guys standing and chatting at the back of my car. The moment i was about to drive off, this fat guy in spectacles came to my side and stared at me! He opened my car door, stopped me and asked, "Are you XXX?!" Me and Dee were damn shocked of course and also felt damn ridiculous at the same time cause XXX is obviously a guy's name! What an IDIOT... He then asked if i was related to XXX.

I'm like who the fuck are you? Come open my car door and interogate me? So i asked him back "Who are you? What do you want?" and the fat retard just walked off to the back of my car to join his fren who is going hysterical on the phone.

I was feeling damn annoyed, angry and scared at the same time. Dee was stunned and told me "Suan Le lah! Let's go! We're late already!" But my guts got ahead of me and i unbuckled my seat belt and got off the car. At that point i know Dee got scared but i didnt know that she will follow me and get off the car too.

I overheard his fren on the phone saying in Chinese (without the malaysian accent), "The car plate number XXXX u ask me to find is here but the driver is not XXX! It's a lady! She's here!" After hearing this, i grew even suspicious of these 2 guys so i took out my iPhone 4 and took pictures of them. Thank god the lousy iPhone 4 has got flash! The guy on the phone didn't even bother to dodge the camera.

I've sketched a pic of them below. Please drop me a mail if you've seen them. thanks~!

I think the fat idiot got stunned by me getting off the car and took a pic of his fren. He tried to take a picture of me too but is a step behind me. I headed back to my car and was moving off already, the fat guy came and stood in front of my car and i had to ZAM BRAKE! He was still holding onto his phone, stretching his arms out, taking his time to try and take a good picture of me.

At this point, my thoughts caught up and i felt the need to escape from these 2 men. Cause up till this point, i have no idea what these 2 men's intentions are and i feel damn threatened that they somehow got my car number, followed me home and then now try to take pictures of me. i started inching forward but Dee said NO! I got very angry and the adrenaline kept coming so i quickly put the gear back to park, ready to get off the car to jump him. The fat idiot just left.

COWARD!

After driving for 5-10mins, the adrenaline subsided and i started to get more and more worried about later going back home. Will they be there waiting for me again?? Will they do something to my car??

Money Lender

Last night i took over a colleague's car and parked it at my house the multi-storey carpark. Thought i can transfer the remaining season parking from the Mazda to this bulky Hyundai. Reach home open up the HDB website then they say cannot, ask me go to nearest branch during office hours. TMD~!!

This morning when i went to take my car, i saw this slim white colour note on my windscreen from afar. Really thought it's a parking fine but its not.. it was a namecard size flyer??
Observation and Analysis:
1. I've done a search on Bizfile, its not a registered entity.

2. What kinda company answer phone calls from 2.30pm - 8pm? I'm thinking this guy must be in the night business. Only free to pick up calls when he wakes up at 1pm and before he goes to work at 9pm.

3. All types of loans = Daily, Weekly and Monthly payment*. Shouldn't it be like Mortgage loan, Investment loan, business loan etc? Btw, is daily and weekly repayment suppose to be a plus point?

4. Easi approval in less than 30mins. How easy is easi? 30mins for him to contact RunnerA, RunnerA to sms RunnerB, RunnerB to BBM RunnerC, etc all the way to the Ah Long right?

New Regulations to Control Property Prices

I don't care if you're interested in this or not, i'm just writing this out to sort out my thoughts.

National Day Rally:
a) Allow households earning between $8,000 and $10,000, to buy new DBSS flats with a $30,000 CPF Housing Grant;
(b) Increase the supply of new flats, Design, Build and Sell Scheme (DBSS) flats, and Executive Condominiums (EC);
(c) Shorten the completion time of Build-To-Order (BTO) flats;
(d) Increase the Minimum Occupation Period (MOP) for non-subsidised flats to 5 years; and
(e) Disallow concurrent ownership of both HDB flats and private residential properties within the MOP.

Taken from HDB

On top of that, 2nd property can only loan up to 70% of the valuation.

What happens from here then?

Home owners will stay put unless they have the intention to upgrade. Investors may be looking to dump private properties now as prices are still high. Market prices should simmer or dip but nonetheless will trend to hold position as rental will go on strong. Following Q4, private property will be meeting low transaction period, new developments/launches will restrict supply if prices fall drastically with the onset of high HDB supply.

What should you do??

Private Property: Sell high, rent and then buy low later.

HDB: Should take the opportunity to grab DBSS now. If not, then just wait for private property prices to dip... if it happens!

HBD Hotlines:

Sales/Resale Customer Service Line : 1800 8663 066

Branch Office Service Line : 1800 2255 432

Taipei Hilton #2

A fren related this story to me, its a true account of her cousin's experience in the hotel. The couple just got back to the hotel from their shopping spree. While walking towards the lift lobby, she noticed these 3 huge paintings on the walkway that looked a bit out of place. So she nudged her husband and said casually in Mandarin, "Aren't these painting weird?" The moment she finish her sentence, she suddenly just fell forward, face down onto the flat polished floor, shopping bags flung all over the place.


Her husband was stunned cause she didn't even lose her balance before the fall, it was just too sudden and too fast. He held her up and asked her what happened. She said that she didn't trip,


something smacked into her...


It has been rumoured that the spirits in the hotel are very xiong. The 3 paintings in the lobby are said to have tailmans hidden behind them. And they are placed there to supress the Sha Qi!



Do you anything placed in an unusual spot or placed in a different way? You think its art? I think think its for the 'residents'...

Taipei Hilton Hotel #1

I've heard of many ghost stories and even been thru a few eerie moments in my life. But this Hilton Hotel in Taiwan is really one of the scariest stories that will make me shit my pants. I was told that the hotel is very haunted. Singapore Airlines no longer place their staff there but if you ask any senior steward/ess that flies to Taiwan, they will know:

THERE IS AN URN HIDDEN IN EVERY ROOM.

It's usually placed in secluded cupboard high above sight. Check the top deep end of the wardrobe, fridge or above the mini bar.

They say the urns are to subdue the evil spirits, keep them from disturbing the guests in the rooms. Do you dare to search for it??

Update on New Majestic Hotel Post

I received a msg earlier today from a close fren who said my crime posts are dry despite all the effort that i've put in creating the pics which i thought were hilarious. If i were to rate myself, i would have given myself a 7/10 but her response felt like a 2/10. She prefered the Freaky Friday the 13th post and said it gave her chills. So, turning despair into progress, I have constructively taken her advise to good use and to put up a picture for that post to top up the horror factor. ENJOY!

Freaky Friday the 13th!!

This morning I went over to New Majestic Hotel to pick up my fren who just flew in from Miri yesterday. When i got there, i was surprised that she was already at the lobby having a smoke cause i purposely parked my car, wanted to go up and look at her room! However, she looked a bit stressed and told me that she just kena something she think is very weird.

She left her underwear in the shower after she bathed at around 3.30am last night. In between, she and her fren went to the loo agar 3 times and there weren't anything unusual. This morning, after washing up, she put on the DO NOT DISTURB sign and went down to the restaurant for her complimentary breakfast. And when she came back, she found her underwear

INSIDE THE TOILET BOWL!

I felt the super cold chill down my spine the very instant and all my hair (i have a lot) stood on ends! But because she still have another 3 nights stay, I told her, "AIYA! It's the draft lah! U know, in an enclosed area when u open or close the door, there's the wind!" She gave me this deadly stare and brought me up to look at her room. At that point, I already cannot make it, i wanted to siam, change topic and leave liao but she started walking back to the hotel. My hair was standing all the way. At the lobby the lift door open only my heart skipped a beat. Where got people design to put green lighting inside the lift one??!!! so fucking eerie!

Her room is a 2 storey Loft. Although the bathroom is small, the shower and the toilet bowl is a distance away, seperated by a glass divider. So if it's really a draft, the wind direction will need to have enough speed to lift the underwear in one direction and then boomerang it in another trajectory to enter the toilet bowl... The moment we're out of the room, i start to think of the Taiwan Hilton Hotel stories. And i started questioning in my head, if any of the decor are unusual that could have hidden tailsmans or urns inside them to counter this kinda thing. Hmm...

A Piece of Advice: If you cannot solve the underwear mystery, you better start praying.

*24/8/10: Updated picture to this post cause Rong says will attract hits.

7th Month Encounter When Praying

Last night before i went to meet Klara, i decided to help my mom with the incense and offerings for the 7th month. If you don't know, or don't recall, the lunar 7th month is the Hungry Ghost Festival aka, 1month holiday for all the residents of hell. Anyway, right after i prayed and plant the joss sticks into the ground, as i stood back up, i thought i saw a dark shadow at the corner of my eye. The moment i turned towards my left, the shadow kinda swirled and vanished. This happened in less than 2seconds. I wasn't SCARED scared but i did have a bit of a HUH!? in my heart silently maybe cause its too fast to register. I decided that it MUST be my shadow cause im standing under the lamp post and stop my thoughts from running wild.

5hours later, I siamed a road block at Outram Rd which i would have definitely failed the breathelizer. And today i got totally drenched at Jurrasic Park and my iPhone 4 survived!

If you wanna siam road block or save ur iPhone, you better pray now!

Crime Doesn't Bother Me - #3 People Asking for Money

3. People Asking for Money

There are basically 2 types of people who will ask you for money and the anxiety level varies with the type of people that you meet. The first type is the homeless. They are pretty harmless, have their own comfortable sites to display their 'artwork' or just to rest/hang around. They go by pulling your heart strings to your money and don't approach you unless they are desperate. They are probably the best at handling rejections though sometimes, there are those grouchy or crazy ones who will act out on you. But don't have to worry, they usually don't run after people who insult/assault them cause they have too many things to carry on the move.
The second type are the ones that you need to be careful of - Junkies. They are always there in the city, loitering at fastfood restaurants (not just dodgy places) and you'll bound to be approached by them sometime. They are socially functioning/working people, who might be drug runners, pushers, prostitutes or possible multi-tasking all these roles in the underworld. If they are tweaking, their senses are even more hyped up, they can possibly run after you like a Cheetah, and pound at you better than a hungry grizzly.

They usually tell (they don't ask) you to give them money and when you don't, you'll hurt their feelings. They are not good at handling rejections at all possibly due to working under an even more jialat boss/have not slept for 2weeks/suffering from withdrawals/had to give 15 blowjobs at the back alley during lunch time/feeling worried about a rash/syphillis acting up/etc.

So just treat them with a bit more respect than you normally would to your boss and show them your sincerity. Look at them in the eye, say ok and make an effort to dig your pockets for a good 5-10secs before you give them a dollar or two. They will leave you alone and sometimes even say thanks (really hard to anticipate how they'll react).